It all started with Bruce http://brucespringsteen.net/ is I guess about the best way to say it
…..this song….this oddly different song came on the AM radio…..it was
Jungleland….a 3.5 minute radio edit of Jungleland……? Now for you out there who
know this song…you know it is a 7 minute epic…so to be aroused by a 3.5 minute
version on the local AM station with its scratchy crackling signal it must have
said something….I was 16 at the time…
Next thing I remembered was seeing his picture on Time and
Newsweek magazine…..the same week….who the fuck was this guy…? The front cover
of Time and Newsweek was the favored haunt for Chou En Lai http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhou_Enlai
and the Arab Oil Embargo http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1973_oil_crisis
.... Musician’s, let alone rock musicians did not show up here… so I bought the
album…
That album of course was Born To Run http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Born_to_Run ….on the cover was a large black man in
leather pants holding a sax and the singer in leather and sporting a scruffy
beard…..the images in high contrast Black and White……. This was at a time when
music was deep in the dark heart of disco….
I went to Miller’s record store…….asked the clerk….”do you
have an album by a guy named Bruce Stringspeen?”….. I asked…… he looked at me
as if I had just asked for the keys to the Kremlin or some other unimaginable
thing…….”You know…” I said…” He has the song, Jungleland?”….
After some confusion he understood what I was asking……he
took me too the “S” section of the albums…..there it was…$4.99. I bought it.
Getting home I went into my room….there, my stereo…my prized
possession, was front and center in the room …the room farthest away from the
rest of the family…I locked the door…took the album from its bag…
To this day I remember slicing through the film wrap on the
album cover…a motion that created a crackle and a static charge…..The two fold
cover opened stiffly…..the smell of the ink still fresh and pungent…..I slid
the album out of the sleeve….The Red Columbia record label, the black text with
the songs on each side…..4 songs per side…..nothing more…nothing less..
I dropped the needle into the first songs groove…..a
crackle….and then…..”Screen doors slams, Mary’s dress waves…” …still to this
day…just to remember this moment makes me shiver…..
I listened to the whole thing……Thunder Road, Tenth Avenue
Freeze-Out, Night, Backstreets…side 2…Born to Run, She’s the One, Meeting
Across the River, Jungleland. …I listened to it again…and again….
I had to share this with others…
My running buddy was Derek Gale…..Derek and I shared pretty
much everything…..I dragged him into my darkened bedroom…..”You gotta listen to
this”..I said……I dropped the needle on Thunder Road…….He looked at me as if I
had lost my mind…….”Don’t you get it!”…I exclaimed….There was no visible
recognition from Derek that he had indeed “gotten it”…only a look that said…”Have
you lost it..?”
I was undaunted….I made Derek listen to this record again
and again……finally…he got it….and to this day Derek and I are still
friends….and to this day, and every day he wakes, Derek plays a little
Springsteen on the stereo…..
But this was not the end of it……I was an apostle of sorts…..
preaching the gospel of Bruce to everyone who would listen…..friends,
bandmates, classmates, teachers….any one…..
When I was 19….I met a girl…….between us the chemistry was
like flint and steel….always a spark when one was near the other….between us,
the chance for its survival was the most unlikely of outcomes….she was 14….I
had a girlfriend, she was the daughter of my former high school teacher…. Still it did not deter us…..
For 2 plus years we played a cat and mouse game of
romance…..Me, never committing, always playing both sides of the coin….her,
wanting more than was possible….I knew, even then, it would take a man to be
with her, I knew that I was not yet that……
We struggled on….between the troubles of family, differences
in age, the meaning of it all……..we played with each other’s heart…..me maybe
more so, than her……me… definitely more so than her…..
In the midst of all of this…one thing I do remember doing
was telling her about Bruce……by this time, Darkness on the Edge of Town http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darkness_on_the_Edge_of_Town
and The River http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_River_(Bruce_Springsteen_album) had come out….I had seen Bruce live for the
first time in Seattle…Tickets were $12.50
Here is the setlist
Set 1: Badlands, Out In The
Street, Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out, Darkness On The Edge Of Town, Factory,
Independence Day, Jackson Cage, Two Hearts, The Promised Land, Racing In The
Street, The River, Prove It All Night, Thunder Road, Cadillac Ranch, Fire,
Sherry Darling, I Wanna Marry You, The Train Song, Wreck On The Highway, Point
Blank
Set 2: Crush On You, Ramrod, You Can Look, Stolen Car, Drive All Night, Rosalita, Jungleland, Detroit Medley, Raise Your Hand
Set 2: Crush On You, Ramrod, You Can Look, Stolen Car, Drive All Night, Rosalita, Jungleland, Detroit Medley, Raise Your Hand
The show started just after 8 and went to nearly 1 in the
morning……
Back to her….
I would take her out in my jeep…..my “Ghetto Blaster” along
for the ride…….I would take her to a secluded place…..steal a kiss, maybe
more….. Bruce was always the soundtrack…….
I knew I was in love with her, but did know this until much
later in life…..
As things sometimes do…..this thing we had, came crashing
down……accusations of being a cheat, dissolving trusts, experiences crowding in
on us that neither of us were prepared or skilled for….I spun away from it all,
like some piece of space junk tumbling away into the night……I moved away….she
stayed here…..years passed…
I married, she did not, I had kids, so did she, I chased the
light in my own way, as did she…..I never talked to her, she never did either…
I never forgot her…
From time to time….I would hear things……she had a kid, but
not a husband……she was a lawyer, she had an older boyfriend……I never forgot
her…
Over the years, from time to time, she would come rumbling
across my mind’s horizon…..sometimes it was like a dust cloud on the deserts’
floor, sometimes it was like a pinball banging off my cerebral cortex http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerebral_cortex but she came to mind…..and I never did shake
it….nor did I want to….. I suppose….
33 years passed…..
About a year ago……one evening…she came into my mind
again……like vespers http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vespers
.....
I decided to reach out……..I knew she was still in
Victoria……she was a lawyer….beyond that much, I did not know much…… I composed
a simple e-mail……”Hey….It’s me, John…..I just thought that after all these
years I would just drop by to say hello…how are you?”……
The response was quick and cold…”I don’t think it’s a good
idea that you just drop by….”
….I wrote back….”I meant… drop by in a digital way….you see
I live in another town…..I thought it was time to reconnect and see how you
are…?”….another email came slamming back…” I am fine….followed by a here is
what I do, here is what I am, thanks for asking, but why the hell are you
e-mailing me after 33 years?”……Good question…I had not thought I would have to
explain myself……?
“ I was thinking of you….wanted to see how you were….to
talk…”……the response was simple….” I am fine, leave me alone…but before I go….I
do want to thank you for one thing from so long ago….You introduced me to Bruce
and I still love him….everyone in my life thinks I am nuts when it comes to
Bruce and they just don’t get him…but it has been a lifelong passion for me,
one which I thank you for…”
HALLEFUCKINGLUAH …….There is a god!
