The Plane

 

The Plane,

 

It never ceases to amaze me how stupid I can get sometimes. Even with the best of intentions in the most honest of hearts I can still dig a hole then I can't get out of. The most recent example of that was a trip on WestJet airlines leaving Mexico heading for home let me explain.

 

My girlfriend at the time, Julie, and I've gone to Huatalco in the South Mexico. We've been there a couple of weeks and it was time for us to head home. Now here is where my own problems started to take it shape.

 

I booked the flight book seeding, some unknown reason I thought that many people on this lane and we could just pick our seats when we got to the gate. Apparently I was wrong. What in fact happened is that you never separated by about 3 rows and you obviously think next to each other. In the of little deeds to the name of relationships this is certainly in the top 10.

 

On top of this Julie had gotten a touch of montezuma's revenge AKA diarrhea a couple of days prior to the flight I of course, like the dutiful boyfriend I was make sure that we got all the did auctions to control dia prime the flight. The diarrhea was pretty much on control as we were bringing and I didn't really give it a whole lot of thought but what I'm getting and now here's where I get into evil, I did think that I would wait till we get on board the airplane and you're so pleasant WestJet flight attendant would help us to sit next to each other 5 hour flight back.

 

Everywhere all loaded onto the plane and the flight Mama looked suspiciously like monkey wrestling teacher, was next to me as I was seated. I gently Mr. elbow in an effort to gather her attention. She looked at me with those ever so pleasant Harry Reid angry an underpaid flight attendant eyes and said to me what do you want?

 

I said my girlfriend Julie who's right over there three seats back and I'd like to sit together and I was hoping that you could do me a favor and ask the passenger next to her if they would mind swapping. She then, very sternly and quite loud sad why?

 

Instead of saying that I was an idiot and hadn't actually booked the seats together I decided that I would let her in on the little truth that Julie had a bit of an upset stomach an that sitting next to me would comfort her on the journey home, I thought this might appeal to her humanity Anne would help to make the seat change arrangement. I was wrong !

 

Instead what the ever so effervescent flight attendant did was throw her hands in the air and yell at the top of her lungs stop the plane we have a medical emergency, stop the plane we have a medical emergency!!

 

With this announcement the entire back half of the airplane scrambled to look around and crane their heads and next looking for someone who was in obvious distress perhaps with a heart attack a stroke or some other life threatening injury where this proclamation would seem an appropriate action to take. Pastors, were saying who what what's the problem who said and the the WestJet flight attendant pointed at Julie and said in a not so quiet voice that woman there is ill exclamation we need a doctor!

 

At this point in time I was trying to grab the attention of the flight attendant to say no no no she's fine she just had a little stomach upset an I'm looking at Julie and Julie is looking back at me with eyes that would essentially say this will probably be our last trip ever and at the same time a man 3 rows behind Julie stood up and said I'm a doctor I can help and got out of his seat Ann went to the side where Julie was sitting at this point Julie was saying I I'm fine there's nothing here I just had a little upset stomach and at that point once again the flight attendant yelled to front cabin stop the plane we need another doctor on board good even I in my limited way new that the do do I was in was far deeper than I was ever going to get out of.

 

The plane quickly stopped and then crawled the 30 feet back to the jetway and I assume, not being in the pilots cabin, they phoned the terminal Anne had a doctor come to the airport. At this point Julie was claiming she was 100% healthy people around her who probably had a percentage of them with their own montezuma's revenge we're starting to say don't worry it'll all be OK another such reassuring platitudes and we waited half an hour well one of the local doctors got on board and came down the aisle to where Julie was sitting. Needless to say a number of things were taking place.

 

Firstly it was smoking hot outside and the air conditioning was not on so the plane was at about a temperature that McDonald's uses to keep their hamburgers warm and two people were now complaining they wouldn't make their connection and that this flight was now going to take an extra hour and people were getting upset, so was Julie with me.

 

The local doctor along with the doctor passenger both looked at Julie and asked her a few questions presumably one such as are you currently pooping your pants or have you been to South Central Africa and been exposed to ebola or any other number of ridiculous questions and of course people were leaning in to hear the answers 'cause we're on a plane and Julie was near tears and also New York wanting to claw my eyes out. Finally after 30 minutes the ever bulldog flight attendant declared the a medical emergency was over, once again in a very loud voice and the doctor left and we started back on our trip home to Vancouver.

 

During the flight, which was six hours, I made a couple of attempts to walk over to Julie and apologize and while doing so I could hear bouzan hices directed at my way. Julie was in no way open to a conversation. It was a frosty trip home.

 

I guess the moral of this story is simple, don't get involved in other people's shit.