Many stories of my mis-spent youth revolve around others that were equally as retarded as I....(yes I know retarded is no longer a fashionable way to describe a person....but I ask you..if someone IS a retard what is a better word to describe them....hmm....?)
Anyways...Ed was a retard........
We all grew up in a small unique city....half town, half city, half sailors port, half refuge for former Jonestown citizens......Victoria was and still is as quirky as it is quaint...
As in all things quaint and quirky it is not the buildings but the people that make it so.......
This all happened one Saturday night.....there is a major intersection in Victoria...One of 3 or 4 at the most........
For those of you with Google Earth it is the corner of Douglas and Hillside.....at D & H there are 3 lanes heading into town and 3 lanes heading out of town...and 2 lanes going across the 3 lanes.......each way....sufficiently confused....so were we...
Ed was driving his parents car....we reffered to parents as Raisins...this was a nod to the Grape....The Raisin being an old shrivelled Grape.....alas, I know.....it all made more sense to me back then as well.....
Ed was driving with me in the backseat and the ubiquitous Mike "Indian" DeMonmorency in the passenger seat....Mike was not an Indian by the way........I am not sure why he was called that...today I can hardly imagine if his nickname would be Mike "First Nations Person" DeMontmorency or Mike "Metis" DeMontmorency......I guess he wouldn't have a nickname......anyways....let me proceed..
Ed was at the red light.....of the 3 lanes heading into town....the traffic was heavy and we waited at the red light....we were in the center lane.....
The Left hand lane was and presumably still is a left turn lane with an advance green.....I say this as it is central to the story not because I really care about traffic lights.....however....its funny how some people care or collect the weirdest things...like traffic lights...there is actually a traffics light collectors club....this amazes me.....before the internet......how did these people find each other....?......at a traffic light or safety convention....?....did they lurk around the light signal booths and wait for someone other than themselves to walk up to a brank spanking new traffic light on display and go......"ooooo..look Bob its the new Horizon Signal Co.s F42Ex.....wow....It'd be keen to have that in the club..."
If they do....I don't want to know about it...
Ed was in the center lane wih a red light.....there were clearly 3 lights...an advance for the left lane, our center lane light and a right hand lane light.....on the opposite side of the intersection was an identical set of lights.....I know this whole light description thing gets a bit weary....as you probably do...but it is central to the story so stick with me...
Ed was in the center lane...actually "we" were in the center lane.....The left hand lane advance turned green......all of the cars left of us revved their engines, put them in gear and made a swift left hand turn........exactly opposite of us... the opposing intersections left hand lane advance green light turned on at the same time...their lane of traffic of about 20 cars turned left as well....this meant their lane of left hand traffic was driving right in front of us........Do you have the picture...? If not please reread the above as I am quite sure I painted a clear one...
While this was happening...in fact just as this was happening, Ed sitting at the Red light took all of this movement of cars as a cue for him to go through the intersection.....vrooom...off he went...oblivious to the fact of the honking cars, the dodging Dodges and Fords and the general mayhem he was causing.....with only luck and Led Zeppelin on our side we made it all the way through the intersection without getting hit or hitting anyone....in fact Ed did not even realize what he had done until Mike spoke up....
"Ed .....Ed..." he said...you just went through a Red light.....!!!"
"Oh..., oh shit" said Ed....and with that he hit the brake, turned to look back across the front seat and towards where he had just come from....cars still whizzing thru the interesction......and he put his car in reverse and went all the way back....
Now......I was stunned....but not surprised...Ed ...had in his mind....gone back and corrected his error of running the Red..........Poor Ed......hmmmm..
Anyways...Ed was a retard........
We all grew up in a small unique city....half town, half city, half sailors port, half refuge for former Jonestown citizens......Victoria was and still is as quirky as it is quaint...
As in all things quaint and quirky it is not the buildings but the people that make it so.......
This all happened one Saturday night.....there is a major intersection in Victoria...One of 3 or 4 at the most........
For those of you with Google Earth it is the corner of Douglas and Hillside.....at D & H there are 3 lanes heading into town and 3 lanes heading out of town...and 2 lanes going across the 3 lanes.......each way....sufficiently confused....so were we...
Ed was driving his parents car....we reffered to parents as Raisins...this was a nod to the Grape....The Raisin being an old shrivelled Grape.....alas, I know.....it all made more sense to me back then as well.....
Ed was driving with me in the backseat and the ubiquitous Mike "Indian" DeMonmorency in the passenger seat....Mike was not an Indian by the way........I am not sure why he was called that...today I can hardly imagine if his nickname would be Mike "First Nations Person" DeMontmorency or Mike "Metis" DeMontmorency......I guess he wouldn't have a nickname......anyways....let me proceed..
Ed was at the red light.....of the 3 lanes heading into town....the traffic was heavy and we waited at the red light....we were in the center lane.....
The Left hand lane was and presumably still is a left turn lane with an advance green.....I say this as it is central to the story not because I really care about traffic lights.....however....its funny how some people care or collect the weirdest things...like traffic lights...there is actually a traffics light collectors club....this amazes me.....before the internet......how did these people find each other....?......at a traffic light or safety convention....?....did they lurk around the light signal booths and wait for someone other than themselves to walk up to a brank spanking new traffic light on display and go......"ooooo..look Bob its the new Horizon Signal Co.s F42Ex.....wow....It'd be keen to have that in the club..."
If they do....I don't want to know about it...
Ed was in the center lane wih a red light.....there were clearly 3 lights...an advance for the left lane, our center lane light and a right hand lane light.....on the opposite side of the intersection was an identical set of lights.....I know this whole light description thing gets a bit weary....as you probably do...but it is central to the story so stick with me...
Ed was in the center lane...actually "we" were in the center lane.....The left hand lane advance turned green......all of the cars left of us revved their engines, put them in gear and made a swift left hand turn........exactly opposite of us... the opposing intersections left hand lane advance green light turned on at the same time...their lane of traffic of about 20 cars turned left as well....this meant their lane of left hand traffic was driving right in front of us........Do you have the picture...? If not please reread the above as I am quite sure I painted a clear one...
While this was happening...in fact just as this was happening, Ed sitting at the Red light took all of this movement of cars as a cue for him to go through the intersection.....vrooom...off he went...oblivious to the fact of the honking cars, the dodging Dodges and Fords and the general mayhem he was causing.....with only luck and Led Zeppelin on our side we made it all the way through the intersection without getting hit or hitting anyone....in fact Ed did not even realize what he had done until Mike spoke up....
"Ed .....Ed..." he said...you just went through a Red light.....!!!"
"Oh..., oh shit" said Ed....and with that he hit the brake, turned to look back across the front seat and towards where he had just come from....cars still whizzing thru the interesction......and he put his car in reverse and went all the way back....
Now......I was stunned....but not surprised...Ed ...had in his mind....gone back and corrected his error of running the Red..........Poor Ed......hmmmm..
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