Much of my youth and early adulthood was spent playing in rock bands....I was the bass player and singer..... this was of course a recipe for trouble....
My first few bands were formed with my best friend...Victor Zupanc...
Victor is one of those unique people who is both crazed on the one side and the parents wet dream child on the other.......Victor has his Masters in Music composition and went through school with straight A's....he was also the craziest person I have yet to meet.....
When Victor was attending University for music we had a popular local band called The Tumours....long before political correctness took such a firm hold on society a name like The Tumours was seen as being.....well...rather snappy....Our motto was "They'll grow on you..."
Victor was in the final year of his 4 year bachelor program and life for him was tense....always the perfectionist, Victor was under a lot of pressure to make his final grades... superb....
At the same time as all of the above we had just finished recording the last album of The Tumours.....tracks had been surreptitiously recorded at the University's new million dollar studio....today the capabilities of that studio would fit on your I-pod but back in 80's these were world class facilities....and facilities that were definitely not for the use of Rock Bands.....that being said....
Victor was always one to play as close to the edge as anyone I knew.......night after night we snuck into the studio after the building was closed up...Victor would hide in the men's washroom until the security guard had locked up then he would come to the door at 1 a.m. and let us in.......to do this, we were definitely breaking laws.......
This B&E'ing went on for about 7 nights as we mixed down the tracks, overdubbed and did vocals....
On about the 6th night Victor was in the studio alone by himself when a Prof came in to use the studio...finding Victor madly mixing away rock music at about 100 Decibels the Prof was shocked and outraged.....the next day.......Victor was called up before the faculty board of the Music Department and summarily and in no uncertain terms told that NO MORE ROCK AND ROLL in the Universities studio or immediate dismissal would be possible.....
That next night, Victor and I got together to discuss the state of the unfinished album/tapes....he was panic stricken.....afraid that he would get tossed from the school.... Victor did not want to risk going back in the studio.....
I, on the other hand, had nothing to lose......so I lobbied Victor hard to risk just 1 more night to go in there and wrap it up....my lobbying took a few days but finally Victor caved..... ( I could usually get him to do so.....:)
"Ok" he said..."but we do one night....Midnight to Dawn and we get it all done...I am scared shitless and I can only risk it one more time....ok?"
I nodded approval.......
That night, Victor hid in the men's washroom as usual.....the midnight tour of the guard took place and as planned at 12:15 a.m. he opened up the school's studio doors and snuck us in.......I had my girlfriend, Barb, in tow......
Now ....one would think that with everything academic on the line a guy like Victor would play it as safe as humanly possible....no noise, keep the place clean......
But this was not Victor's style......I think it is possible that Victor had some oddly formed death wish.........when faced with a challenge .....Victor...one of the safest, most respectful people on the planet will always opt for the most ridiculous solution....
Case in point....
Into the studio we go, Victor me and Barb.....once inside Victor pulls out a gallon jug of homemade wine and 2 fat reefers....."Well....If I'm going get the boot" he says...."I am going out in style...!"
The wine flowed, the tape rolled, the sounds were being mixed and we were having a great time....
at around 3 a.m. Barb excused herself to go to the washroom....we barely missed her.....we were creating...!!...........right in the middle of a toke and about our 3rd or 4th glass of wine....the inner door to the studio creaked open ever so slowly.....
We looked up through the smokey haze of the pot filled studio ...thinking Barb would be walking back in....but no....it was a 60 year-old security guard....
He opened the door....we could tell he was afraid.....but he also knew he had a job to do.....he cautiously eyeballed me and Victor ........5 seconds of silence...the guard spoke..." Does either of you know a tall Blonde girl...?"
Both of us in unison......." a Blonde girl...? Nope...no Blonde girl......nope..we've never ever known one..."........stony silence all around....
I am sure that even the old guard knew this had to be wrong....afterall he did not just make up the whole "anybody know a blonde girl thing...."..........obviously he had caught Barb wandering the hall looking for the washroom.......surely she would have blabbed....he must think we are retards.....he was also sniffing the air and eyeing the open wine jug.....he could also be thinking we are drug addled break in artists........It was not looking good......I am sure if he had a Taser back then he would have Tasered us both........instead...he just jangled his 4 lb ring of keys......still the stony silence persisted...
Then Victor piped up..." A Blonde girl....oh yeah...a Blonde girl...sure we know a Blonde girl.....she's about this high...." holding his hand shoulder high.........(like there were other Blonde girls of various heights to be found wandering the halls...)
Stony silence hung in the room.......Victor broke it..." Yeah she's his girlfriend...." Pointing at me....
"Who are you ?" said the guard
Before I could answer, Victor spoke..." This is professor Graham...he's my faculty advisor...."
Now...at age 20...I did not look like any Prof I knew.....Even if I had been some boy genius graduating high school at age 12 I was still unlikely to pass the Professorial type........still...
"Well the police have the Blonde girl in the car outside and she seems a bit confused..." said the Guard....." we better go speak to the cops.."
"Of course " I said....standing up.......
As I walked to the door and the cops outside I was thinking this was it.....we were going to be arrested, break and enter, mischief, impersonating a Professor.....we were toast....and Victor was about to be expelled....
I followed the guard outside....there were 2 cop cars....lights flashing, radios crackling in the night air........I was in the lead with the guard at my heels.....
As we approached the cars....I could see Barb sitting in the backseat......the cops speaking to her....she was gesticulating wildly....this could not be good....
I spoke up as strongly as I could...."ahem...She's with me.." I said....the cop turned...."And who are you...?"
Before I could answer, the guard who was behind me piped up..." Its okay...Its professor Graham...."......
The cops bought it...hook , line and sinker........they released Barb into my "custody"......
The guard then let us back into the music studio where we found Victor trembling in fear......he knew he was toast.....
We continued our work and finished the album....as dawn broke we were about to leave....Victor feeling like he was going to go down with the ship decided he might as well make a final statement......."hey" said to me..."give me a hand..."......just before we left the building we grabbed one of the upright pianos from the studio, wheeled it out into the hall and then wheeled it into the women's washroom...." There.." He said......" That I'll show them....."
Victor did not get suspended and graduated with honours........will wonders ever cease..........
My first few bands were formed with my best friend...Victor Zupanc...
Victor is one of those unique people who is both crazed on the one side and the parents wet dream child on the other.......Victor has his Masters in Music composition and went through school with straight A's....he was also the craziest person I have yet to meet.....
When Victor was attending University for music we had a popular local band called The Tumours....long before political correctness took such a firm hold on society a name like The Tumours was seen as being.....well...rather snappy....Our motto was "They'll grow on you..."
Victor was in the final year of his 4 year bachelor program and life for him was tense....always the perfectionist, Victor was under a lot of pressure to make his final grades... superb....
At the same time as all of the above we had just finished recording the last album of The Tumours.....tracks had been surreptitiously recorded at the University's new million dollar studio....today the capabilities of that studio would fit on your I-pod but back in 80's these were world class facilities....and facilities that were definitely not for the use of Rock Bands.....that being said....
Victor was always one to play as close to the edge as anyone I knew.......night after night we snuck into the studio after the building was closed up...Victor would hide in the men's washroom until the security guard had locked up then he would come to the door at 1 a.m. and let us in.......to do this, we were definitely breaking laws.......
This B&E'ing went on for about 7 nights as we mixed down the tracks, overdubbed and did vocals....
On about the 6th night Victor was in the studio alone by himself when a Prof came in to use the studio...finding Victor madly mixing away rock music at about 100 Decibels the Prof was shocked and outraged.....the next day.......Victor was called up before the faculty board of the Music Department and summarily and in no uncertain terms told that NO MORE ROCK AND ROLL in the Universities studio or immediate dismissal would be possible.....
That next night, Victor and I got together to discuss the state of the unfinished album/tapes....he was panic stricken.....afraid that he would get tossed from the school.... Victor did not want to risk going back in the studio.....
I, on the other hand, had nothing to lose......so I lobbied Victor hard to risk just 1 more night to go in there and wrap it up....my lobbying took a few days but finally Victor caved..... ( I could usually get him to do so.....:)
"Ok" he said..."but we do one night....Midnight to Dawn and we get it all done...I am scared shitless and I can only risk it one more time....ok?"
I nodded approval.......
That night, Victor hid in the men's washroom as usual.....the midnight tour of the guard took place and as planned at 12:15 a.m. he opened up the school's studio doors and snuck us in.......I had my girlfriend, Barb, in tow......
Now ....one would think that with everything academic on the line a guy like Victor would play it as safe as humanly possible....no noise, keep the place clean......
But this was not Victor's style......I think it is possible that Victor had some oddly formed death wish.........when faced with a challenge .....Victor...one of the safest, most respectful people on the planet will always opt for the most ridiculous solution....
Case in point....
Into the studio we go, Victor me and Barb.....once inside Victor pulls out a gallon jug of homemade wine and 2 fat reefers....."Well....If I'm going get the boot" he says...."I am going out in style...!"
The wine flowed, the tape rolled, the sounds were being mixed and we were having a great time....
at around 3 a.m. Barb excused herself to go to the washroom....we barely missed her.....we were creating...!!...........right in the middle of a toke and about our 3rd or 4th glass of wine....the inner door to the studio creaked open ever so slowly.....
We looked up through the smokey haze of the pot filled studio ...thinking Barb would be walking back in....but no....it was a 60 year-old security guard....
He opened the door....we could tell he was afraid.....but he also knew he had a job to do.....he cautiously eyeballed me and Victor ........5 seconds of silence...the guard spoke..." Does either of you know a tall Blonde girl...?"
Both of us in unison......." a Blonde girl...? Nope...no Blonde girl......nope..we've never ever known one..."........stony silence all around....
I am sure that even the old guard knew this had to be wrong....afterall he did not just make up the whole "anybody know a blonde girl thing...."..........obviously he had caught Barb wandering the hall looking for the washroom.......surely she would have blabbed....he must think we are retards.....he was also sniffing the air and eyeing the open wine jug.....he could also be thinking we are drug addled break in artists........It was not looking good......I am sure if he had a Taser back then he would have Tasered us both........instead...he just jangled his 4 lb ring of keys......still the stony silence persisted...
Then Victor piped up..." A Blonde girl....oh yeah...a Blonde girl...sure we know a Blonde girl.....she's about this high...." holding his hand shoulder high.........(like there were other Blonde girls of various heights to be found wandering the halls...)
Stony silence hung in the room.......Victor broke it..." Yeah she's his girlfriend...." Pointing at me....
"Who are you ?" said the guard
Before I could answer, Victor spoke..." This is professor Graham...he's my faculty advisor...."
Now...at age 20...I did not look like any Prof I knew.....Even if I had been some boy genius graduating high school at age 12 I was still unlikely to pass the Professorial type........still...
"Well the police have the Blonde girl in the car outside and she seems a bit confused..." said the Guard....." we better go speak to the cops.."
"Of course " I said....standing up.......
As I walked to the door and the cops outside I was thinking this was it.....we were going to be arrested, break and enter, mischief, impersonating a Professor.....we were toast....and Victor was about to be expelled....
I followed the guard outside....there were 2 cop cars....lights flashing, radios crackling in the night air........I was in the lead with the guard at my heels.....
As we approached the cars....I could see Barb sitting in the backseat......the cops speaking to her....she was gesticulating wildly....this could not be good....
I spoke up as strongly as I could...."ahem...She's with me.." I said....the cop turned...."And who are you...?"
Before I could answer, the guard who was behind me piped up..." Its okay...Its professor Graham...."......
The cops bought it...hook , line and sinker........they released Barb into my "custody"......
The guard then let us back into the music studio where we found Victor trembling in fear......he knew he was toast.....
We continued our work and finished the album....as dawn broke we were about to leave....Victor feeling like he was going to go down with the ship decided he might as well make a final statement......."hey" said to me..."give me a hand..."......just before we left the building we grabbed one of the upright pianos from the studio, wheeled it out into the hall and then wheeled it into the women's washroom...." There.." He said......" That I'll show them....."
Victor did not get suspended and graduated with honours........will wonders ever cease..........
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